


xiii. "stay."

by tempestaurora



Series: it's okay, we're okay [whumpvember 2018] [13]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Social Media, Whumptober, YouTube, not whumpy in the slightest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 06:23:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16613615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tempestaurora/pseuds/tempestaurora
Summary: “Alright, we’re doing Avengers quizzes today.”“Okay, we’re starting withWhich Avenger are you destined for?”Peter leaned over to see the screen, reading, “Which Avenger is your soulmate. Possible results are: Loki-wait a minute, Loki’s not an Avenger.”Tony frowned at the screen. “He literally came to this planet to kill us all.”“I get that he’s attractive or whatever, but he’s like, a mass murderer.”Sequel to xii. "electrocution" - aka, they're back on the YouTube Shit





	xiii. "stay."

**Author's Note:**

> hi yeah don't expect anything sad or painful we're doing more youtube videos today because i was having fun when i wrote this one a few days back. all avengers quizzes mentioned in this fic are real but when you put them in canon context you really do start questioning why loki's in so many of them.
> 
> enjoy

“Continuing the attempt to give me better PR, we’re back,” Tony stated, the camera showing he and Peter back on the same sofa as the week before.

“Not that I don’t think this is a great idea,” Peter said, “but I’ve got homework. Can we do this in like an hour?” Peter started to stand but Tony grabbed the hem of his t-shirt, pulling him back down.

“Nope. Stay. We’re doing this. Besides, I have important Iron Man duties in an hour.”

“Oh, yeah? Like what?”

Tony sniffed. “I have to reply to fan mail.” When Peter laughed, Tony huffed, straightening. “I’ll have you know six-year-old Sophie from Wisconsin wrote me a three-page letter about her pet turtle and I intend to reply to that.”

The camera cut to them with a laptop on Tony’s lap and the recording of that screen in the corner. It was currently on the wallpaper, which Peter had recently changed to show he, Ned and MJ with a decathlon nationals trophy.

“Alright, we’re doing Avengers quizzes today.”

Peter laughed. “Really? But you already know the answers.”

“Sure, but this is about positive press, Pete. Propaganda and stuff, remember?” He pointed at the screen. “That’s a cute photo. Congrats on the win.”

Peter grinned. “Thanks, Mr Stark.”

“Okay, we’re starting with _Which Avenger are you destined for?_ ”

Peter leaned over to see the screen, reading, “ _Which Avenger is your soulmate. Possible results are: Loki-_ wait a minute, Loki’s not an Avenger.”

Tony frowned at the screen. “He literally came to this planet to kill us all.”

“I get that he’s attractive or whatever, but he’s like, a mass murderer.”

“I already don’t trust this quiz – and look, Spiderman’s on there, too.”

“Spiderman’s an Avenger, though,” Peter replied.

“No, he isn’t. He’s like Junior Varsity. He’s not there yet.” They clicked through the screens as Peter frowned. “Time to find out my soulmate.”

“It’s gonna be Mr Rogers,” Peter replied. “Like, I’ve seen you two. I understand you’re with Miss Potts, but _I’ve seen you two._ ”

Tony shoved Peter to the side and the camera cut to one of the questions.

“ _What do you think the Earth and its inhabitants deserve?_ ” Tony read aloud. “Are you kidding me with this?”

“ _Peace,_ ” Peter read, “ _No more threats – at least ones that can’t be defeated easily._ Seriously? Seriously? _Love, Equality all around_ and _It doesn’t ‘deserve’ anything._ ”

“This quiz is a farce,” Tony said, clicking on _peace._

The screen cut again to Peter’s loud laughter. “Oh my God – _What answer do you want to get?_ Mr Stark, now you can express how you want to get Mr Rogers.”

Tony sniffed, scrolling through the answers. “I can’t believe Rhodey isn’t on here. I’d choose Rhodey. Any day of the week.” Tony clearly clicked on himself and the screen cut again to the results page and Tony staring at it.

“You got yourself.”

“I got myself. You know, Pepper’s always telling me that she doesn’t even need to be in this relationship – that I can just get myself o-”

“Mr Stark!” Peter clapped his hands over his young, impressionable ears as Tony laughed.

They started the next quiz, this time the laptop on Peter’s lap, Tony looking over his shoulder.

“ _Which of the Avengers are you?_ ” Tony announced.

“I’m gonna get Spiderman,” Peter said. “I can feel it in my bones. Me and him. We’re _connected._ ”

Tony snorted. “Your whole school is obsessed with that guy.”

Peter nodded, clicking through to the quiz. “No, yeah, we all are. There are Spiderman posters everywhere and we have an official Spiderman school account to catalogue all the times he’s saved students’ lives.”

Tony raised his eyebrows. “Okay, but have you ever heard of _Iron Man_?”

Peter scoffed and started the quiz. “ _What kind of hair do you have?_ I have no idea how they’d even know what kind of hair Spiderman has – I feel like this won’t be accurate.”

“Oh yeah, a random quiz on the internet. Totally accurate. My soulmate is myself. They know me better than Pepper does. Click _curly_ and move on, kid.”

Peter did as he was told and the two of them answered the questions, Tony occasionally frowning over Peter’s answers but not questioning them.

“Oh my God,” Peter whispered.

Tony sighed heavily.

“I got Captain America. Mr Stark, Mr Stark – I got Cap-”

“I can read the screen, kid.”

“ _Captain America._ ”

“What’s the point in anyone calling you a mini me or Stark Jr if you’re just gonna go and take after Cap?”

Peter nudged his elbow into Tony’s arm a few times. “ _Captain America_ , Mr Stark.”

“I can see that, Pete. Maybe I need to tell Thor to stop calling you Peter Starkson. You’re clearly Peter Rogerson now.”

Peter laughed, grinning at Tony. “Do you think I could be Captain America? I think I could – I mean, that shield defies the laws of physics but I’d get over it. I could wear the cool outfit- not that, not that the armour isn’t cool. You know I think it’s awesome! That one time you let me wear it-”

Tony placed his hand over Peter’s mouth, sending him a dry look as he did so. “Calm yourself, Parker. And don’t tell Cap you got him in this quiz. Barton will never let me live it down and Cap will start calling you _son_ in that weird, stern, fatherly voice of his – let’s not rock the precarious boat that is you in this building, okay?”

When Tony removed his hand, Peter was still smiling widely.

“What?” Tony asked.

Peter poked him. “You don’t want me to have Cap as my favourite. You want to be my favourite.”

“I don’t-”

“Mr Stark,” Peter interrupted in a sing-song voice.

“I’m already your favourite,” Tony defended. “Let’s not-”

“I mean, _technically_ , Thor’s my favourite.”

“ _What?_ ”

Peter nodded. “I mean, favourite Avenger, sure.”

“But- but-”

“You’ve seen him, right? You’ve seen his arms? And his face? He’s a literal _god_ , Mr Stark. You can’t expect me to prefer a mere mortal over the _god of thunder_.”

Tony blinked at him. “You’re disowned.” Peter laughed, bright. “You’re not my son anymore.”

“I’m not-”

“You’re out of the will.”

“I was in the will?”

“Out of my inheritance. That college fund I set up for you? Gone.”

“You what-”

“Inheriting Stark Industries? Officially out of the question.”

“I was gonna-”

“You’ll be old and sad and alone with no college degree and no worldwide tech conglomerate thinking, _man,_ _I shouldn’t have preferred Thor over Iron Man._ ”

Peter laughed as Tony sniffed, resting back against the sofa cushions. Carefully, Peter moved the laptop onto the coffee table, shifting to look at Tony.

“Sure, I chose Thor over Iron Man,” he said, “but that’s because Iron Man’s a suit, Mr Stark. You don’t see me trailing Thor around the compound, do you? Nope. I trail _you_ around – like a lost puppy, according to Mr Barton. Thor’s pretty cool but Tony Stark’s my all-time favourite.”

“Tony Stark’s an Avenger, too, you know,” Tony muttered, mock-pouting.

“Sure, but Tony Stark’s way more than just an Avenger.”

The two of them looked at each other and the screen cut of just as Tony smiled, reluctant, and said, “You _are_ a puppy, you know.”

It cut to them in different positions on the sofa; Tony leaning against the arm, the laptop on his lap and Peter upside, feet over the back of the couch.

“We could do the Hogwarts houses,” Peter suggested.

“No need,” Tony replied. “I already know them.”

“You do?”

“You’re in Hufflepuff, I’m in Ravenclaw. Let’s not waste time on the website when that’s a fact.”

Peter tilted his head to the side. “That’s fair. Wait, you read the _Harry Potter_ books?”

Tony shrugged. “In two days to be exact. I became an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics in one night – you think I can’t read a few books about wizards?”

Peter grinned. “I like this whole ploy to make you seem like a regular human being and not a billionaire superhero.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Peter replied. “But we should at _least_ find out our _Percy Jackson_ godly parents. I’ve got money riding on Hephaestus for the both of us and I don’t wanna be let down.”

 

5,998,263 views

 

_@Spider-Fan:_ oh my god they’re literally father and son

 

_@MrsOdinson:_ “you’ve seen his arms? and his face?” peter parker: a bicon

 

_@BlackWidowPlsKickMyAss:_ who’s putting money on peter parker being tony stark’s long lost son because I’m ready and willing to bet

 

_@PeterParkour:_ we both got athena but I’ve made my peace with that

_@TheTonyStark: @PeterParkour_ This was a massive waste of time I should’ve let you do homework.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! talk to me in the comments!
> 
> tomorrow is torture and i haven't even started that one yet because i don't actually want to write a torture scene and i'm still trying to think of an alternative way to play it lmao


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